The only cure to your depression, is expression!

What my cause of depression is might be different from what motivates you to be depressed, but both yield the same result, of us behaving weird than usual and proliferating the amount of cortisol in our bodies.
If you're thinking what cortisol is? You can check it here. In short, continuous production of such hormone shows signs of depression. So we must learn to elevate ourselves to breathe some air of mental peace. 

So, what we can do to manage depression and anxiety at the first step is to have a method that separates us from others but doesn't isolate us. What I mean is, that if you've something or someplace, where you can express whatever you feel like, then you can understand what are the cues for such behaviours and act accordingly. 

Then as you begin developing this habit of expression in depression, you realise that you've become your own psychiatrist and thus you can heal faster.

Now coming to the part of 'what' and the how's of this expression, I would urge you to take a note in your mind palace while you read further. 

I recommend you choose truth, only the truth and nothing else. Because it will be the strongest rope that pulls you out of this rot. I suggest, take a diary or open the notepad. Write it Out. If you feel like you can't move your pen much, record yourself in an audio recorder or the camera, but it should be a clear expression of your feelings and the reasons you anticipate.

While you do so, forget that anyone is looking or anyone is going to read this or listen to. Just remember you are here and you need to heal yourself so that you can go out smiling in a better state than before and get back on your track of life. 

Go through all the thoughts that exist, mostly they are of self-pity and comparison, and sometimes they hover about the way you're handling yourself in a situation around you. There could be depression due to some loss, big or small, anyone's demise or hospitalisation. Whatever your reason is, take it and reflect. Because when you're calm, you can take better decisions and not when you're depressed. And we all know we need to make better decisions to survive especially at the times of crisis.

So go and express your depression, do not fight it, because it is something within yourself, embrace it and have the courage to clear its cloud and move ahead with the clearest possible mind sky.

P. S. I was depressed earlier as a matter of fact that my friends are doing better than myself at using the current period of lockdown due to covid19 and I was feeling down as I haven't been up to anything let alone sleep, eat and shit. They had a movie "Eat, Pray, Love" & my life seems to have become "Eat, Shit, Shove".

So under this duress, I was trying to think about why I haven't been and why they did, what they did while I was busy eating and watching movies. So I took up my notepad and wrote down what I felt was wrong with me, in the process, I answered a few questions! You can take them as your SOP for expression in depression and you can change them as you like but just remember two things truth and expression. 

0. Am I really depressed? 

This question is the most difficult one to answer as we humans go through a lot of mood swings and often we term this as depression! So I ask you to take a few steps back and reflect before you add this term into your life. 

Ask yourself these sub-questions, to answer the difficult one! 

   0.1 are you sad? 

   0.2 is it affecting your day to day activities in the last few days? 

   0.3 Are you feeling unsatisfied lately with life? 

And many more you can think of. It is just that I am asking these sub-questions out of the fun. So now getting on to the real ones. 

1. Why am I depressed? 

I am, and I guess I will be for some time. The fact that I have been wasting time feels like a curse and it keeps haunting me. I am behind others and I haven't been doing anything about it. Considering my lack of self-belief on success I am not taking up much task and living life with a thought that I am worthless. There are some added spices to my worthlessness curry too. Leaving them I want to talk about planning and I am fortunate enough that my plans are a real deal. I am dead serious, if Niti Ayog ever got the chance of reading them they would fall at my feet asking for my support since that won't be happening in the near future so I keep my plans to myself and deliberately take no action on them as I am busy procrastinating. And the cycle goes on aided with my laziness I fall prey to our friend here. 

2. How am I depressed? 

There is nothing like" I do nothing when I am depressed".I guarantee you must be doing something, even if it's scrolling some feed or checking on someone or just dwindling on thoughts, but there's always something. So jot that down. I personally had found a lot of ways to waste time and won't waste any of yours by bringing them to light. But you must know yours. 

3. What I want to happen with me or around me? Is it an expectation or plain hope?

There would be something, that if happens you would dramatically be put out of this despair and light the world with your beautiful smile. So make a note of that. Mine was, I complete my assignment and cope up with my studies and somehow score at par with my friends.

After deciding what must happen, you must think whether that's an expectation or hope?

The fine line between these two words can be understood by the following statement:

Expectations are usually associated with internal stubbornness and constant desperation of wish that it must happen, and the world will turn upside down if it doesn't. Whereas Hope is associated with acceptance of what might happen but gracefully wishing that what you want comes to reality. 

I hope it helps you decide.

Now that you have decided, leave the word expectation and turn the desire into your hope.If it is something you hold control overtake all the necessary action. If someone else holds the key, leave the lock there and go on with your life. If that someone unlocks it you'll know, just keep yourself open to the unexpected twists and turns of this intrigue-Life. 

My case was that I expected things to change but never did anything. But with the hope that I can change my habits, I tried each day and I haven't yet overcome any of them but I can surely see tiny improvements and I hope they will one day compound into some real deal. 

4. Now comes expression. 

Now, here the truth comes to play the game of thrones. My truth is I am always full on my stomach, addicted to tasty food and engulfed in thoughts of someone. A full stomach calls for sleep and thoughts never let me to. In this confusion, I don't know how those 86400 seconds of my life are drained into the wasteland. My cravings for the delicacies make me helpless whenever things go wrong. If the food has not been well-cooked I burst into actions that surely won't be defined as humane. I ignore my tasks and then I go down with the thought about my bad fate and crumble myself in self-pity. So while I am in my mind palace I find people, with whom I had attached my unfulfilled expectations and my heart bursts instantaneously. I am busted and I feel like an accomplice to the pain I am in. Self curse starts to rule and here I am helplessly lost in thoughts while the clock has been cleaned twice by the hour hand. 

So I hope you could now, dwell into some similar points of truth. I know I haven't been specific (as you are reading this and I value my privacy 😂)but you have to remember that no one's looking and express your heart out with all the reasons that exist and also those you anticipate. The truth must triumph over your depression. 

Now that you've expressed yourself, you would be overwhelmed with feelings of relaxation. So before it strikes again go and do something productive. Until the terminator is resurrected. 

5.What if it comes back? 

Prepare for the war. Make some rules and follow them. If you break them once, just remember you never solved differential equations in your first grade, so improve and improvise. Hold the truth as your sword, your hope as your shield and attack with determination. We'll win the war against this evil and rise into our beautiful future. 

So with that, I would like to wrap up but I urge you to embrace and fall in love with yourself and rule over your mind skies.

Remember:

"Be the eagle that tears the cloud, not the one who sheds a tear at their sight. "

-anonymous me🤣

And always:

"Give yourself another day, another chance. You will find your courage eventually. Don’t give up on yourself just yet.” 

_______________________________

I hope you enjoyed reading it. Do comment and let me know about how you felt and if it helped in any way, do follow the Facebook handle!